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"Home Of Quality Interracial Literature!"
All written by Lawrence James & Mercedes Keyes
Our Poetry - All Written by Us!
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Lawrence James Poetry
Wander lust...unsettled, unsure, curiosity baffled...unworthy of trust.
Unable to stabilize, unable to grow. Unable to see, what one should know.
What is love? What is life?
What damn good...is a husband to a wife?
What are children, who are born?
To be regretted...constantly, scorned.
Where did it start?
Where will it end? Confusion and pain, my closest friends.
If I stop to consider...what would I find?
My heart is a stranger...even my mind.
A world-wind of events ... my life has been.
One tragedy after another, hardly time to recover,
and another one I'm in.
Ooooh, unstable am I,
with this ... mystery of life... I've found - that I've been thrust.
With no answers to my confusion.
Nor a person,
place,
or thing,
I can trust...
Not even................................................Myself.
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
You Savage, you savage, I wonder why?
You get to me, and make me cry,
your speech is so unfinished,
and your manners are abrupt.
You're too bold, you're too rash,
much too arrogant is your strut.
I must be crazy, and truly insane,
we've nothing in common,
which is obviously plain.
Yet here you come, uncivilized, untamed,
and though - hard to admit,
I want you just the same.
Your understandings short, to the love I need,
and your only objective, is to constantly breed.
So what can I say? Whatever shall I do?
You won't let me go, nor...do I want you to.
So here I am, come to me now.
My needs of love, I will show you how.
You Savage, you savage...
Oh I wonder who?
Would ever understand, the love I feel for you.
(This was written for a novel in the midst of my list of many others...*sigh*)
(Oh I have so much writing to do...where's the time? ... lol)
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
Oh black man please,
please hear me sigh,
how my heart does pound,
when you walk by.
With your skin so rich and dark,
specially kissed by the sun,
it only aids the fantasies of you,
my imagination runs.
With you stature and build,
our God has surely paid attention,
for your stride is most distinct,
from other men in dimension.
Who of them can compare,
to your outstanding strength?
Who can compete and endure you,
if forced to go the length?
From the top of your head,
where it curls with wool coarse.
To the strong dominant features,
that are masculine with firm force.
You are beauty, grace and pride,
so majestically stand!!
Any woman would be proud,
to walk by your side.
With knowledge, wisdom and talent,
you hold it at ready, within your hand.
So you see Black man,
you who walk by,
it's no wonder that I want you,
that's the reason that I sigh!
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
When you come close,
within the space of a breath,
I can see the desire in your eyes,
I'm captured...
Struggling to set myself free,
because ~ You ~ scare me.
When your hand reaches out to touch me,
there's a trembling within, that stirs deep.
I bite back the whimper,
so you can't hear,
How ~ You ~ dare me.
When your body, you bring,
ever so close to mine,
I feel a shiver coarse down my spine.
An arousal so sweet,
it shuts down my mind, suddenly I am weak.
For I fight the plea,
desperately holding the feelings inside,
Because ~ You ~ daze me.
I wish to bare my soul,
to lay it out before you there,
offering myself as your captive prey,
to release the panther in you,
to devour me, completely.
But I can't, because ~ IT ~ scares me.
For that, which scares me,
Dares me,
Dazes me,
is the very thing that thrills me...
~ You ~
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
Why is it?
That rough, gruff, emotional stuff,
That is all soft, gentle, warm and kind,
so hard to stabilize,
so hard to bind?
Why can't we forget all past?
Just be glad for what's here?
Instead of recalling the hurt,
dwelling on the fear?
Why?
Why is it?
In that, I do not know.
For deep inside, I struggle and promise I will try.
When I close my eyes,
I feel my senses soar.
Will…
Come, touch my soul,
yes - make it fly!
On love,
I'll take this chance
and though I fear,
I'll open every door.
Yes, because you,
William O'Malley, are the one
I'm longing for.
Why?
Why you ask?
This answer, I do – not - know.
For I am certain only, of this one valid truth,
that is…
how much, I love you so.
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
When one must break the bonds that be,
In order to be,
free.
The freedom that one,
craved,
only heartache to one,
gave.
There be no bondage!!
Just many,
choices.
Too much confusion from inner,
voices.
A desperate scramble from hither to there.
For thy future so,
unaware.
The trap that awaits, thyself is the -
snare.
Thy treacherous heart,
has led one to,
care.
Through a maze thy went rushing,
and found the bridge,
that once again,
trapped thyself into,
Bondage!!
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
The day I was born, I think it all began,
this love I feel for Frankie, he refuses to understand.
Into his eyes, I would gaze, not knowing he was no mother,
not knowing he was no father, not ever my brother.
Yet he held me, he fed me, he taught me to talk,
he taught me to crawl, and then how to walk.
Funny how, when hungry we were fed, naked - we were clothed,
though ignorant, we were taught, once lost - found,
then back to safety, we were led.
So Frankie, understand me,
though you were my mother, you're not.
You were my father, but not.
Truly a brother, yet not.
Though I treasure your blood as my own, it's not.
With all things you were to me,
with all things you are to me.
There's one last thing, I need you be.
My lover... Frankie... Make love to me!!
(This poem from a book I will write within the midst of so many others)
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
Shrouded here in the darkness of
night,
I find myself standing…at a crossroad.
I’m at a crossroad,
I can turn to the left-
I can turn to the right-
or I can stay & keep going,
with no future in sight.
I’m at a crossroad,
the road ahead familiar to me,
a vicious circle that continues to be.
A repetition, grown stagnant and stale,
All so familiar,
a dead end jail cell.
Thoughts, that I have,
of staying put here,
of not turning off,
in the new direction I fear.
I’m At A Crossroad!!
If my stomach would stop,
with this nagging tight pain.
If my trembling would cease,
for my calm to regain.
If the tears that now gather,
would back up and dry,
I could handle this decision,
but instead I just cry.
I’m At A Crossroad!!
I’m at a crossroad-
Somebody help me here,
I beg you,
I’m at a crossroad please!
Yet all counsel I am getting,
which tells me what I should do,
traps the decision in my chest,
causing the choice I make to freeze.
Why at this crossroad?
What has made me stop and stare?
What has made me discontent?
What has made me now aware?
That I’m at a crossroad!
Here I stand,
so I turn and look behind-
to see all the things that led me,
to this present state of mind.
Wa-a-a-a-ay back there,
to my very beginning,
I stood there too at a crossroad,
not sure of the choice I’d made,
not sure of the eventual ending.
I have not finished yet-
in this…first choice,
where I have stayed.
But at this crossroad,
in the journey that I traveled,
now I’m realizing the cost,
that I’ve paid.
Turning back around,
I can see what’s up ahead-
If I continue on this here road,
it’ll bring me more,
of the same things that I dread.
On this road, have I been happy?
Oh yes, I’ve had a good time or two.
Moments that brought me gladness,
in my reflection,
I know that it’s true.
But happy? Me…happy?
No…You see, that is why,
I am at this crossroad,
and I don’t know what to do.
I’m at a crossroad!
I cannot get myself to move!
Dropping now to my knees,
falling forward to it’s-
gravel gritty taste.
Shivering, that just won’t ease,
because taking the wrong direction,
could lend this whole trip a waste.
Slowly lifting my head,
I reach up and try to dry my eyes,
I cannot sit here forever,
a brand new day is dawning,
I see the sun about to rise.
Dragging my feet beneath me,
for what is my decision?
In it I must now,
take a stand.
I’m at a crossroad!
To the left of me,
uncertainty.
And the right turn too-
is a mystery.
With the time now here,
of which way I should go,
I’ve come to one strong point,
of what I now do know-
this road must end…
And in one of these directions-
A new trip now begins.
To the left?
Or to the right?
Finally…I look up to the sky,
and wailing in despair,
I cry,
"GOD PLEASE!! YOU up above!"
Silently, softly I bid…
"can’t you see? I’m at a crossroad…"
"I’m at a crossroad."
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
What
happenstance of such Great fortune ~
by a miracle Chance, in my Time of torture ~
Brought me with sounding of Trumpets Horn ~
Such a Gallant Knight ~ Milord Claiborne?
What
happenstance of this True Wonder ~
Did thy find this Damsel ~ All torn Asunder?
Whose Trail has shown her downtrodden with pain ~
For this she has sworn, to Never Trust again.
For I look
around, both astonished and amazed ~
Where Milord ~ did you find it?
A chink in my suit of armor ~
Right up to bare skin, where you have slipped gently in,
softly caressing thee ~
Tis my heart that now pounds to be free ~
As I stand utterly dazed ~
What has thou done to me?
Oooh my, and
Dear, and Woe is to me ~
This cannot –NO- not be true!
See ~ I am this fierce, Proud she-warrior ~
Encased within shields bruised to Blue!
You see ~Milord~ I am known throughout this land ~
That no one can break me ~
And certainly no mere man!
Who are you?! ~Milord Claiborne~
I demand to know ~ How has thou gotten through?!
Gasping for Air
~ I try to catch my breath ~
But I feel such a strange rising ~ as my skin, You again caress ~
Trembling I sigh ~ “Please Milord, give this Soul that bleeds,
it’s rest. For I cannot stand such sweet Torture ~
Trapped now at my Breast!
I must cease at
this Madness!
Ooh what Happenstance, brought me to you ~
That you so easily Slay, a resolve that took years to build ~
I submit Milord, and evolve this Soul in Rapture and Gladness ~
For You have Pierced me Through. ~
“Milord Claiborne ~ Milord Claiborne!”
Enough! But - it is never enough – this thing to me, that you do! ~
Suddenly ~ I am
weak ~
Uncle…I cry – Uncle… I am but a mere mortal ~
Mercy on me ~Milord Claiborne~ For I cannot take a moment more ~
In this Frightening, Gripping Chasm, from You in which I hang ~
And know – not another day will I morn ~
For now it is to thou –
With this Happenstance, that I vow…
To Love you Forever…Milord Claiborne…
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
No Place I'd Rather Be
Mmmm, as I snuggle warm and content, feeling the time I’m now wasting, so well spent. Deep within my imagination -I have set free, all of the most wondrous places, I would like to be.
If I were to charter myself a plane, and take off tonight-To an adventure of travel, to see the World, what would I gain? Where would I point it? Where first to set my site?
I know!! I’d head for Switzerland to Ski! Upon it’s slopes, swishing through the wintry Alps, feeling upon my face, the crisp bite of Crystal, sparkling snow. Jubilantly exalting where I would succeed, to take on a mountain, with increasing speed, safely stopping at the bottom with revelry and glee. Yes! So invigorating a place I’d adventure to Spree.
From there – the fields of Holland, Amsterdam I’d run. My arms stretched, palms slapping every yellow flower head. Through a field of flowers all the same, I would twirl and dance, so glad I came. In the background, giant and tall, a mighty windmill, it’s spindle swirling in the sun. Yes! For in this place, would I find my heart entranced from so much freedom and fun.
To India…India! Before the Taj Mahal! My skirt held high, I’d dip and sway, as I frolicked through it’s fountain’s and mall. My laughter ringing out, loud and gay - spinning in my joy, not once afraid, that I might grow dizzy, and possibly fall. For in this great land, I’d believe that certainly, it too, and here another part of me. Yes! For this place – I hear a call, but not the one to fill my all.
TORO! TORO! TORO! I yell out to the Bull fighter in Madrid! So dazzling to the eye his brave stance, the sweep of his broad red cape! AYE! TORO! TORO! The crowd all roar, “He is splendid!” All the women squeal who him, they adore as they gape. As the evening falls, in celebration, yes we dance! Long stem red rose – clinched within my teeth – and with me, he’d like to take a chance. Seduction is in my eyes, but it is not him – who I see! As I with the music, rapidly tap tap tap my feet! Hands gracefully pointed as they swirl, clap, and sway. Yes! For in this place, I discover a bold new World. But here, I shall not stay.
Or perhaps better yet, in the jungles of Africa – where for the first time, I hear a wild Lion’s roar! As I lay quiet in waiting – to see Elephants crossing, first one, then two…Oh my – seven more! Shhh did you hear that sound? Now what could that be? I look up in time, behold a band of monkeys, jumping from tree to tree. Yes! In this place, I’ve discovered such Wildness in it’s Glory! But again, emmm…not quite the place for me.
Venice, Italy! Another land where I’ve wanted to go. Leisurely I would lounge, upon a long fancy Gondola. My Venetian gondolier, guides me to each place, under one bridge then two, seeking to please me, and urging a smile upon my face. Finally we pass the Golden House palace, CA’D’oro. Mmmm, I moan in such sweet bliss, as the tips of my fingers, the great canal waters, softly lap and kiss. Playfully I splash my Venetian steward guide, knowing … Yes! In this place, such breathtaking memories my time here will provide, but again not the one, I would chance to long reside.
On the last leg of my journey…Paris, France! Standing at the very top of the Eiffel tower in a trance. Where are you? I swallow as the wind blows upon my face. Maybe it will dry, all the tears that have left their trace. Yes, in this place, I can even here see, that it’s not the place for me.
Mmmm, is that a kiss upon my brow? Waking me from a dream? And the squeezing that I’m feeling, never too extreme. I inhale so deep and long, the hairs from your chest, they tickle my nose. And the hand now on my hip is traveling, to where I know it goes. The sun lights filtering through our window to start another day. And all those places I’ve been, in a dream that from you, they all took me away. Has brought me back to this one fact… Right here, wrapped in the comfort of your arms – Yes – oh Yes! In this place, is where I shall forever want to stay!
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
Swan Song Ent. 1,2 & 3...
In the midst of
the night-
She floats, this; "Amber Swann"-
Awaiting her one true love-
Listening only for his song.
With the toss of
her head-
The graceful flexing of her wings-
For now he is just a fantasy-
And this song, her lover sings.
Yes floating
there she drifts-
This beautiful Amber Swann-
Within rippling soft caresses,
The embrace of her dream lovers arms.
Deep within her
breast,-
Beats a heart of pure courage-
Awaiting her one true Soul Mate-
No matter how long-
Time, nor it's passing,-
will her resolve discourage.
Gliding
gracefully even now-
Imagining smoldering; dark mysterious eyes-
For which that day, he will arrive-
Only she knows when, it will be no surprise.
No matter her
longing-
Or the ache deep within-
No matter the wait-
Her Soul-mate Swann -will- come to her,
And not a moment, too late.
Until that day-
That he swoops into her life-
She'll sing loves sweet sonnets to him-
Through the day-
And deep into the night...
::Entry July, 2000::
(*)<--@-->(*)
~~Part Two~~
***His Final Arrival - Today?***
On carrier wings of flight…
travelling all day, and through the night.
Sailing, soaring upon drafts and streams…
to the South, his instinct strong and keen.
One vision, one
image, one promise to fulfill.
A glorious uniting, his graceful mate
he knows does wait.
Hastening their coming together,
as from them, time does steal.
Thru wind and rain, and crashing thunder,
and pelting hail, he bares up under.
Nothing will stand between him and his destiny,
to join his one true partner, with her he wants to be.
Floating with the mastery of flight,
ever watchful, ever alert,
to any change in smell or sight.
Tirelessly onward, for miles thru mid-air…
whatever difficulty he’ll face,
in the elements that dare…
nothing will stop him, so determined - to get there.
In the legendary myths,
made of such magnetic bliss…
always calling to his lover,
who treads in waiting,
there in the mist.
In his minds eye, he can see her,
his radiant Amber Swann,
singing her loves sweet sonnet
where she waits, he’ll not prolong.
Looking to the skies,
is that a change now in the mist?
Is that the trumpet of her lover?
Oh how she longs so for his kiss.
Is that him now coming,
down the swirling current and bends,
finally her wait is over,
her solitude at it’s end.
Startling her awake, barely stifling her scream,
the trumpeting that she hears,
not from her lover so it seems.
Receding into cover, as the boat passes by…
unaware of her presence, and her struggle not to cry…
for the arrival of her one true mate…
for whom she patiently tries to wait…
had not been what she thought,
coming down the misty stream,
it had only been a nightmare,
as some would call a dream.
Slowly she treads, coming from her cover.
Wondering as she does,
is there such a thing,
as one’s true mate?
Or just that old cold flock of many,
who just seek to be your lover?
No…
With the flexing of her wings,
and the tossing of her head…
She knows she’ll never give up waiting,
no matter how long the wait,
or how lonely is her bed.
::Entry January, 2002::
(*)<--@-->(*)
~~Part Three~~
***The Finale***
As winter dies and spring arrives,
And all around nature strives;
For renewal and rebirth.
Amber Swann floats on and on,
Waiting still to hear his song;
Her soul mate ventures some where on earth.
A sadness of inner longing sobs,
throbbing in her heart,
Mysterious be the unknown - keeping them apart.
Such yearning for his love,
with a deep swirling desire,
To feel his gentle caress,
he’d blaze in, to stoke the fire.
Far away across great distance, in - another land;
is a pond of a foreign world,
where a legend as well began.
There too it is spoken, a solitary lonesome bird,
With a promise that was made,
and it will not be broken,
Melodies sweet and fragrantly true,
on the wind to be heard.
Tuning in, first soft, but clear,
the song he hears sincere…
A Golden Amber Swann,
a creature he keeps dreaming of.
Her voice, of an Angel’s voice,
her soul is filled with love.
Whispers, whispers…an achingly hungry pant,
But a heart once broken, hurt and insecure,
trusting to love again…he’s afraid that he can’t.
For his love he once offered,
but it was taken in vain,
And now he must struggle,
to overcome the pain.
The tug of the song, was pulling him on,
With the raise of his head,
and the spread of his wings,
This song that he’s hearing, so soothing, so healing,
In every verse that she sings.
Decision made, heart now un-afraid,
Something so compelling,
forces him to be brave.
Taking off, with a powerful thrust of his wings,
On the current he now soars,
crossing oceans of water,
beaches and the shores.
Because the one,
beckoning him,
has the remedy to cure,
She is the answer;
this one’s whose heart, is so pure.
Closer now, is that land up ahead?
Are those green valleys and woods?
Beyond them, straight away he is led.
Luring him ever onward, on the swirling air mass,
To a pond of cattails and lilies,
where they’ll be hidden from view.
There made of weed, grass and straw,
the nest for their bed.
For they are one soul which originated,
now divided in two.
Retreating once again,
in high reeds where she hides.
Her feet stop there paddling,
as her body slowly glides.
There’s something in the air,
but she’s afraid to trust the feeling.
Yet, there’s a scent - that cannot be mistaken,
with a deep inhaling, sending her senses reeling.
Suddenly the mist is broken,
in a short distance ahead,
right before her eyes.
With a landing, that is so graceful;
she is taken by surprise.
Mesmerized, she watches him,
the vast spreading of his wings;
The shear power in his size,
for no other would dare rival.
For in him, she knew he could be trusted;
with her love...and their survival.
Boldly - there before him
A Golden Amber Swann
for she was no dream, nor a fantasy,
but a living, breathing - breathtaking vision,
he was beholding in the dawn.
With one last flexing of his wings,
And the lengthening of his graceful neck,
he gives out a mighty trumpeting - as if an alarm,
Any who dare trespass his lair,
could expect bodily harm.
Boldly forward he paddled,
with fierce possession in his eyes.
For this Golden Swan was his…
his soul mate, his bride
and God help the one
who dare - try t’steal her, from his side.
Two hearts beating now as one,
two souls melded for all time.
Never again will either be single,
side by side forever more,
now their senses intermingle,
the dream they shared - now true at last.
This Amber Swann is at peace,
with her soul mate - her lover-
forever at her side,
all of her doubts - now in the past.
As together - they bond...
they plan...
and make love...
and confide.
*Smile* Dreams do come true...
*<<*>>*
*<<*>>*
Beware...Beware!!
Why Does No One Want To Listen To The Voice Of Reasoning?
I mean...it's right there in your head...
Hey! Beware, beware!!
Fo'dis I tell'ya true,
dis man who seem s'wonderful now,
dis man, he is trickin' you.
Yeah, he lookin' good, stanin' six foot tall,
handin' you dat(b.s.) line, 'cause he got da'gall!
Listen now, I tell ya true, I know him well, what he gone do.
Grinnin' in yo'face, wit'dem
eyes so green an'bold,
Hol'on tight, keep ya'cool, ya'startin ta dream,
fo'I'm warnin', out of ya', he 'bout ta make a fool.
God help ya', if fo'him, ya'should fall,
I tell'ya now, he gone ta make ya'blue,
he gonna take ya'sweet soft heart, an rip it out of you!
Hey! Beware, beware!!
Jus'da otha'day - I saw him stanin' there,
Tellin' his jokes an' bein'smooth, carryin' on wit'out a care.
Ya'won't even on his min', yo' existence, so unaware.
He out ta'trap anotha'one, ta'hold'ha in his snare.
Ain't nothing but a game to him, foolin' women what he must do.
Neva'loyal to jus' one, bein'from da'"Dog by nature crew"!
Hello?!? Do ya'hear what I tellin' you?!
Ready? Here he com' again...
